i am quite convinced that i am getting sick. what started out as tickle in my throat has now turned into swollen glands and has made swallowing a painful task. i woke up with an upset stomach and those pre-fever aches. my entire feels warm but i am absolutely freezing at the moment.

on top of that, stalker girl from last semester tries to strike up a conversation with me...ughhh! basically it is a cover and eventually pops the question, "can i borrow your notes?" NO BITCH. but i didn't say that because i am incapable of saying "no". i made up some excuse explaining that i needed them for a study group later. then she proceeded to follow me to my next class. buh.

i am at school right now and i am waiting for my second class to begin...the fundementals of archaeology...aka the most boring class ever. i don't get to go home until 5.

boy oh boy it is going to be a long day.
  • Current Mood
    sick sick

am i an asshole?

i just realized that i absolutely despise my family. like i really cannot stand them. especially my mother.

moving back to tampa for the summer was quite possibly the worst decision ever. i don't plan on ever coming back.

i wish tippy could live with me in tallahassee...and other people too that really need to gtfo of this hell hole.

  • Current Music
    boris' new album, it fucking rocks

(no subject)

 back in tampa.

it is super depressing.

i just want a little more from you, but i can't find a way to ask you. i need to grow balls.
  • Current Music
    requiem for a dream


i'm coming up today for the show tonight.

this time people better fucking hang out.

and lets eat at ethos!
  • Current Music
    odius mortem

(no subject)

 my grandpa died.

the other night there was an alligator in my dream. i looked it up and it represented a death in the family.
  • Current Music
    swarm of the lotus

(no subject)

i have hit an all time low. i have never felt this lost or hopeless in my entire life. i haven't stopped crying since last night and my stomach is eating away at my insides and i feel like i've been on the verge of puking for the past 15 hours. i wish i didn't have emotions, they're burdeunsome and complicate everything. fuck.

adding to my horrible bout of depression is the fact that i have 3 papers i have to write this week and i cannot concentrate on them at all.

i just want my cat

okay, now i am going to watch all dogs go to heaven...
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed

(no subject)

i can't wait for this semester to be over. one more month...and then hopefully italy. i need to get out of the states, you have no idea.

everything has gotten stagnant yet i feel a change coming on that i wouldn't consider a positive one. i've also felt it effecting my connections with people too. maybe its because im far away and psyching myself out. hnnnggg!!! i can't put my finger on it and don't know what  to do about my problem. maybe i just need to start working out again. release endorphines.

i am so fucking lazy right now...i don't even want to go to my cello lesson today (which is only 30 minutes, mind you). i understand that school is my job, but i am so burnt out right now. i have three eight page papers to write this week and they have to be written in AJA format, which i have never done in my entire life. and i have a quiz and a test. i can't focus or concentrate on my studying or school work. i can barely sit and practice my cello because im so antsy. yet i don't want to do anything but sit. WHAT IS YOUR DEAL MEGAN MURPHY? i think having someone to talk to would help but i would feel like i was "bringing them down" with me. and i only have one friend who is even busier than i am! but seriously, i have never felt more alone in my entire life. i usually had tippy to keep me company, but he lives in tampa now. le sigh.

i really do think i need a change in scenery. i guess that will happen in a month or so. back to tampa. then grand canyon, then italy! hopefully!

i miss a lot of people.
  • Current Music