i am quite convinced that i am getting sick. what started out as tickle in my throat has now turned into swollen glands and has made swallowing a painful task. i woke up with an upset stomach and those pre-fever aches. my entire feels warm but i am absolutely freezing at the moment.
on top of that, stalker girl from last semester tries to strike up a conversation with me...ughhh! basically it is a cover and eventually pops the question, "can i borrow your notes?" NO BITCH. but i didn't say that because i am incapable of saying "no". i made up some excuse explaining that i needed them for a study group later. then she proceeded to follow me to my next class. buh.
i am at school right now and i am waiting for my second class to begin...the fundementals of archaeology...aka the most boring class ever. i don't get to go home until 5.
boy oh boy it is going to be a long day.
i just realized that i absolutely despise my family. like i really cannot stand them. especially my mother.
moving back to tampa for the summer was quite possibly the worst decision ever. i don't plan on ever coming back.
i wish tippy could live with me in tallahassee...and other people too that really need to gtfo of this hell hole.
C'MON FOLKS GET YR SHIT TOGETHER!
back in tampa.
it is super depressing.
i just want a little more from you, but i can't find a way to ask you. i need to grow balls.
i'm coming up today for the show tonight.
this time people better fucking hang out.
and lets eat at ethos!
tallahassee is weird. nobody hugs here.
my grandpa died.
the other night there was an alligator in my dream. i looked it up and it represented a death in the family.
i have hit an all time low. i have never felt this lost or hopeless in my entire life. i haven't stopped crying since last night and my stomach is eating away at my insides and i feel like i've been on the verge of puking for the past 15 hours. i wish i didn't have emotions, they're burdeunsome and complicate everything. fuck.
adding to my horrible bout of depression is the fact that i have 3 papers i have to write this week and i cannot concentrate on them at all.
i just want my cat
okay, now i am going to watch all dogs go to heaven...
MEGAN MURPHY IS GOING TO ITALY!
i can't wait for this semester to be over. one more month...and then hopefully italy. i need to get out of the states, you have no idea.
everything has gotten stagnant yet i feel a change coming on that i wouldn't consider a positive one. i've also felt it effecting my connections with people too. maybe its because im far away and psyching myself out. hnnnggg!!! i can't put my finger on it and don't know what to do about my problem. maybe i just need to start working out again. release endorphines.
i am so fucking lazy right now...i don't even want to go to my cello lesson today (which is only 30 minutes, mind you). i understand that school is my job, but i am so burnt out right now. i have three eight page papers to write this week and they have to be written in AJA format, which i have never done in my entire life. and i have a quiz and a test. i can't focus or concentrate on my studying or school work. i can barely sit and practice my cello because im so antsy. yet i don't want to do anything but sit. WHAT IS YOUR DEAL MEGAN MURPHY? i think having someone to talk to would help but i would feel like i was "bringing them down" with me. and i only have one friend who is even busier than i am! but seriously, i have never felt more alone in my entire life. i usually had tippy to keep me company, but he lives in tampa now. le sigh.
i really do think i need a change in scenery. i guess that will happen in a month or so. back to tampa. then grand canyon, then italy! hopefully!
i miss a lot of people.